Self-coaching: Definition, methods, benefits
- Apr 4
- 6 min read
How successful self-coaching can support your development.
A few weeks ago, we discussed self-leadership and agile self-leadership here on the blog. Today, we're broadening our scope and turning to self-coaching . This isn't just about motivating yourself during challenging times and responding appropriately to change, but clearly about personal development and gaining new insights about yourself.
Self-coaching can be used anywhere you want to gain clarity about your own desires and goals. You plan concrete steps and analyze errors in thinking or behavior that stand in the way of these goals, in order to then correct them.
The ability to do this lies within each of us. In this blog post, you will learn how to implement self-coaching in a targeted and successful way, either to optimally prepare for a session with an external coach or to gain new insights into your life and career on your own.
What is self-coaching?
The classic coaching scenario consists of an external facilitator who asks targeted questions and applies scientifically proven tools and methods ("coach") to help another person ("coachee") on their personal and professional journey. In self-coaching, you fulfill both roles – coach and coachee.
Self-coaching is based on the premise that you are the expert on your own topic, problem, or concern. Nevertheless, a successful self-coaching session requires a high degree of self-awareness, mindfulness, and reflection. Unlike self-management, self-coaching is not simply about devising a plan and then monitoring its implementation.
Self-coaching goes far beyond mere self-management. It begins where willpower and discipline reach their limits. Self-coaching primarily serves personal development.
Even the often-used synonymous concept of self-help doesn't quite capture the essence. While self-help involves taking the initiative to overcome a particular situation or emotional state, the instructions and advice come from others. Self-coaching, on the other hand, involves only you in both roles. It's about a journey inward, about targeted methods you use to awaken and activate your inner coach. The advice comes from within you, and its implementation is entirely up to you.
Goals of self-coaching
At first glance, the concept of self-coaching might sound a little unrealistic, even somewhat spiritual. Quite the opposite is true. Just like traditional coaching, self-coaching follows scientifically proven processes and uses concrete methods. It's a skill that can be learned, like most others we encounter in the workplace, and it pursues specific goals.
Maintain or increase performance
Facilitating decision-making
Developing solutions to problems
Achieve goals effectively
Dissolving limiting beliefs
Improving constructive conflict resolution skills
As with traditional coaching, you can pursue several of these goals in multiple sessions. The self-coaching process always follows the same pattern.
Self-coaching process
Essentially, self-coaching can be divided into three phases.
1. Identify and define your individual problems and questions
The first step is to figure out exactly what you want to work on. This might seem unnecessary in the context of self-coaching – after all, you already know your problems, right? – but the opposite is true. Here, the goal is to consciously take a deep dive and bring to light feelings, beliefs, and obstacles that lie beneath the surface, in the subconscious. To do this, you examine your habits and behavioral patterns. Where are you dissatisfied? What would you like to change?
It's entirely possible that this first phase will be the last of your self-coaching journey, especially if you have serious problems or traumas to overcome. In this case, taking stock of your situation is beneficial, but afterward, it's usually advisable to seek professional help.
2. Define your goals
The second step involves prioritizing. Ask yourself what goal you want to achieve through self-coaching and where you are on the path to achieving that goal. Are you just starting out, perhaps close to the finish line but still lacking that final push? Be sure to write down your goal definitions. A goal that is written down is achieved far more often than one that merely floats through the air as an idea.
3. Find the correct solution path
Ultimately, you engage in an open dialogue with yourself to find individual solutions to the problems you initially defined, leading you to your goal. The better you get to know yourself, your abilities, and also your limitations, the easier this step will be for you in the future, and the better you will be able to empathize with others.
These three steps can be supported by various tools.
Tools and methods for self-coaching
The GROW model
A well-known tool for self-coaching is the GROW model developed by former racing driver and coaching pioneer John Whitmore. This model is based on specific questions designed to cover all relevant areas and structure the coaching process.
The 4 phases of (self-)coaching according to GROW are:
● Goal (Orientation Phase): Where am I currently? Where do I want to go? What goals do I want to define? PS: It is recommended to formulate goals using the "SMART" method (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound).
● Reality (Clarification Phase): Review of the current situation: What is the current situation? What needs to be changed? What is happening right now? What have I already tried? What needs to be considered?
● Options (solution phase): What could I do? What resources do I have? What possible solutions do I see? As many alternative solutions and strategies as possible are sought, without considering feasibility.
● Will (final phase): What will I do? What are the next steps? “Way forward planning” – Here, concrete plans are made and the first steps are defined.
Here you can download a "GROW Self-Coaching Canvas" and try out the method:
Journaling
Another popular and easy-to-use tool for self-coaching is journaling. Keeping a journal is similar to keeping a diary, but it goes a step further. Instead of simply noting what happened to you during the day, you reflect on impulses, emotions, and thoughts in a journal. It can be used to analyze and define past, present, and future plans.
There are various journaling methods, such as:
● Gratitude journal
● Morning Pages
● Success diary
● Bullet Journal
● The 5-Minute Journal
Possible questions you can ask yourself in your journal are:
● What am I grateful for?
● How can I get closer to my goals today?
● What did I learn today?
● What will I do differently/better tomorrow?
● What goals do I want to achieve tomorrow / this week / this month?
The journal can also be used with the agile tool of review/retrospective , e.g. at the end of the week.
The following questions may be helpful:
● What went well?
● What didn't go well?
● What should be changed?
● What new things can I introduce?
Other methods you can use for your self-coaching include: meditation, autogenic training, self-hypnosis, strengths and weaknesses analysis, the wheel of life, and even agile tools like design thinking.
"All obstacles and difficulties are steps on which we rise to higher things ." (Friedrich Nietzsche)
The power of self-coaching.
Advantages of self-coaching
Self-coaching can take countless forms and pursue various goals. Even at the beginning of a traditional coaching process, targeted self-coaching offers several advantages and can be further developed with a professional coach later on.
The advantages at a glance:
Self-coaching is cost-effective. Of course, you need to factor in the time you'll need for a thorough process. There are also various seminars or workshops where you can learn how to best use these methods, but these are usually not free.
Personal development. Unlike self-help or self-management, you make a sustainable contribution to your personal development that is designed for the long term.
You are self-determined. You can tackle smaller challenges yourself and maintain control over your own progress. Scheduling appointments with an external coach is also unnecessary, allowing you to plan your sessions entirely according to your own schedule.
They recognize and know themselves. They strengthen their self-confidence and self-esteem, promote self-reflection and self-awareness, which is also helpful in external coaching.
Other aspects also benefit. Their creativity and problem-solving skills are boosted and expanded.
"Your work is to discover yourself with all your heart and to surrender to yourself." ( Buddha)
Challenges of self-coaching
Despite all its advantages, self-coaching also comes with its own challenges. I've already mentioned one of them above: the bigger the problem you're facing, the more likely it is that an external perspective will help you more quickly and effectively. Other aspects include:
Blind spots
It's entirely possible that you know something is holding you back, but despite thorough self-reflection, you can't pinpoint exactly what it is. We all have these blind spots. An emotionally uninvolved outsider will have a completely different perspective on you and your behavior patterns than you or a close friend.
No corrective
Without regular feedback, it's easy to get lost in a spiral of negative thoughts. External input often helps to re-examine a situation from a different perspective and open up new possibilities.
Conclusion
Self-coaching is a way to become aware of your own desires and challenges. Using tools like GROW or journaling, you define your own goals and concrete plans. Self-coaching trains self-reflection and can always be supplemented or expanded by external coaching.
Although you can coach yourself very well with a solid set of methods, this is no substitute for professional coaching when you're experiencing significant distress. For some issues, you need someone to guide you and help you implement a targeted shift in perspective to gain new insights. It's precisely at this point that engaging a coach is advisable.
Are you interested in in-depth one-on-one coaching for current challenges? Click here to learn more about my coaching services.